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Monday, 9 April 2018

CBT | The Beginner's Guide

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CBT, ever heard of it?  Perhaps, perhaps not.  It stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and still sees many people wielding sticks in a bid to keep the concept faaaar away from them.  But here's the thing, it's not that deep.  Instead, it's just a really, really helpful tool that takes you from spinning yourself in circles over something less than important, to shrugging it off with ease.  I'd go as far as to call it life-changing.  So, I mentioned at the end of last year how I'd be exploring a couple of different routes, including practicing mindfulness and sure, I was skeptical (who isn't?).  Fast forward four months later and it's truly been such an incredible journey.  So incredible in fact, it feels near impossible not to share some basic CBT with you!  I've taken five basic concepts from what I've been learning and shared them with you below - speaking as no expert!  Consider then five steps forwards into a calmer, more serene life.  You never knew, you may just be curious enough to go through an online programme, or perhaps find a practitioner near you!  Trust me, you won't regret it...
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Q U I T   R U M I N A T I N G  ,  B A B E

Figure out a way to deal with the problem, or learn to let the problem go.  If you fall into the trap of ruminating, ask yourself whether it's a ''true, fair, reasonable or helpful way to think about the topic?''

Psst!  Ruminating - overthinking, dwelling on the same thing etc. 


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F I G H T  ,  F L I G H T   O R   F R E E Z E

The physical symptoms that come with the above are totally natural.  Start jotting down your physical reactions (eg. biting lip), so that when they next occur, you can write them off as exactly that - natural reactions!


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S L E E P  ,   D I E T   A N D    E X E R C I S E 

These three are instrumental to maintaining a constant mood (apparently).  If you're feeling overwhelmed with work overload or general life events, get the above three in order - consider them house maintenance, general admin


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O H   S W E E T I E  ,  Y O U ' R E   N O T   A   F O R T U N E   T E L L E R 

 Just how many of us are guilty of trying to predict the future?  If you're predicting a positive outcome, fabulous.  But if you're not, that needs to change.  We're essentially shooting ourselves in the foot by predicting negative outcomes before the event has even occurred.  Oh and the same goes for mind reading.  Nobody knows what another person is thinking unless they tell them - so assume everyone thinks well of you, unless you're told otherwise!


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S T A Y I N G   I N   T H E   P R E S E N T

A lovely little crossover between CBT and Mindfulness.  Take a peek on Youtube for short mindfulness meditation videos for 'Staying In The Present'.  Switch off, calm down and relaaaaax  


Parisian Outfit Styling in Spring
Top - Whistles,  Skirt - Karen Millen  &  Coat - Gloverall
I've loved sharing some of these tips with you, particularly as they've proven so useful to me over recent months.  I can't think of a single person I've ever met who couldn't in some way benefit from CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).  It's all about adjusting your mindset to get the most out of life, and to put the most into life.  In short, it's fab!  Seriously, I feel as though this is something that everyone should have to learn at school, ready to take with us into adult life!  Have you ever dipped your toe into CBT?  Have any of the above five points struck a chord with you?  Let me know in the comments below!

Liked this post?  You might also enjoy >> Looking Forwards Vs. Wishing Your Life Away

With love,

Gabrielle x

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57 comments

  1. I read about cognitive behaviour therapy but not extensively. I'm interested in the field of psychology in general, I love reading about different ways we learn, behave, adjust and cope in life. I've always found our human behaviour patterns endlessly fascinating. I think that by learning more about ourselves & why we tend to behave some way, we also learn more about others and are able to understand them better. Hopefully, this can help us build more quality relationships and be there for our friends & family. For example, as humans we often project happiness into future (attaining sth projection) or to things (owing things projection) because we are afraid to take the full responsibility for our life right now. Much for the same reason people can be mean to one another or blame others for things that are their own fault. I love to study people's behaviour, including my own. I think it actually makes me more emphatic and compassionate. My husband often says I should have been a psychoanalyst or a therapist, but I don't think I would have had the courage for it. Imagine the responsibility! Anyhow, I love this outfit of yours. It has that Parisian chic vibe you wear so well. Tres chic!

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  2. Oh my goodness, the first one! I can waste so much time overthinking situations if I don't check myself. Great post Gabrielle, so helpful! x

    Kate Louise Blogs

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  3. CBT can really go a long way for people looking to get into a practice of mindfulness, gratitude and living in the present. I first became interested in after overcoming a serious illness and it was a life changer for me. The tips you've laid out here are great for anyone looking to improve their life.

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  4. That skirt looks so cute:-)Great post!

    http://www.lostindaydreams.com/

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  5. this is such a great post, it is very important to know what to react to or ignore. I like these tips Gabrielle. We can all use some CBT.
    Wonder Cottage 

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  6. I agree, things like that should be taught in school, it would be so helpful! They make adapting to the changes growing up brings much easier and help you lead a less stressful life.

    Anne - Linda, Libra, Loca

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  7. I am vey guilty of trying to figure out the future, my husband calls me the Queen of What Ifs? LOL! Great tips here, Gabrielle!

    Shireen⎜Reflection of Sanity

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  8. Thanks so much for sharing these tips and I love your outfit too! Stylish as always!

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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  9. I definitely need to stop doing 4, thinking I know what others think before they say anything! These tips are a great reminder to slow down and let go of things that are out of my control or that won't matter in a week's time.

    Also, I love your skirt!

    Kamara xx
    euriental.com

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  10. I've heard of CBT, but I've never done research on it. I admit I do basically everything you listed here, especially the last one. I'm too caught up on the past and future

    Reine | The Blush Luxe

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  11. I've actually never heard of it but now I want to do some research into it! It sounds like a really useful life tool

    www.prettyinleather.net

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  12. Sometimes we can be our own worse enemy. You brought up some excellent points. It's important to take care of yourself. We often neglect doing for ourselves. I had a bad habit of doing more for others than myself. Then when I needed help, others were not there. So now I take more time for me.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  13. It's crazy how much we all either dwell on the past or worry about the future these days!

    Beauty & Colour | Vegan Lifestyle Blog

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  14. You look so pretty I especially love your boots. :)
    http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2018/04/the-6-cross-body-bags-you-cant-miss.html

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  15. Love this post Gabrielle!! I think that taking care of eating well and sleeping well makes such a big difference and it really helps to go through hard times!

    Thanks for sharing these tips! Hope you are having a lovely Monday! :)

    Andrea.

    Seize your Style

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  16. I love the tone you created with the post! So lighthearted and relatable. I really need to stop ruminating, especially on the past, and focus more on what's going on in the present and what really matters. I've never heard of CBT and I don't believe my friends have either, thus I most definitely am going to be sharing it with them.

    www.beingisabella.com

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  17. Thanks for sharing babe... This sounds very interesting.. x
    https://zunera-serena.com/

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  18. I think sleep, diet and exercise are the best ways to cope up with any illness or disease.
    Thanks for sharing this Gab and it is very interesting to know

    Much Love, Jane | The Bandwagon Chic
    New Vlog Entry!

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  19. Gabrielle I’ve enjoyed reading this post. Very interesting and helpful. I’ve started my journey towards a more mindful life since December and some of the things you said really resonate with me like quit ruminating, living in the present for this I usually use the 5 senses and it works wonders. What I also do is have a journal where I write my gratitude list, I also do a lot of visualization and living as if I already have what I want. Great post dear. Keep it up. Take care

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  20. These are great tips! Mindfulness is such a valuable tool to put into practice, although like anything you need to practice at it. I'm getting better at centering myself when things get overwhelming but I know I could improve how I handle things and stop them becoming overwhelming in the first place, haha!


    Love the parisian vibe with the beret and the french on your striped tee! Great outfit :)

    Hope you are having a nice start to your week! After a busy weekend spending time with some friends from Church who flew in from the US, I'm enjoying a quieter week.

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  21. I've always been curious about CBT and what it would be involve, and I found this super interesting. I need to start doing basically all of these, starting with just assuming people are all thinking good things about me, unless I'm told otherwise.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

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  22. A very helpful post Gabrielle. We did touch on CBT whilst studying linguistics at school, but nowhere nere enough for me to call myself an expert! The entire post struck a chord with me because I actually need help in shifting my focus when I find myself 'ruminating' over certain events from last year. A great post. Thanks Gabrielle!

    Madeline
    www.madelinewilsonojo.com

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  23. hello Gabrielle!
    You look like a girl from Paris. I love that striped sweater.
    xoxo

    marisasclosetblog.com

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  24. The amount of times I "predicted" terrible outcomes that never happened is actually incredibly sad. I've been trying to live more in the present and worry less about what will happen in the future now :)
    http://www.lambassadrice.com/

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  25. You look gorgeous! And I love the idea of living in the present and worrying less too!
    -Kate // http://www.classyandkate.com/perfect-chocolate-cookies/

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  26. I have never heard of cbt before but it sounds really nice to be in the moment, and really focus on yourself.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

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  27. Sleep, diet and exercise are my three essentials for keeping a balance life. I can tell my behavior change when I am not eating correctly and when a day goes by without exercising myself!

    Andrea//

    https://justohana.blogspot.com.es

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  28. Great post! I always struggle to "live the moment" because I'm almost constatly anxious about the future, however, I'm trying to get better and overcome my axiety xx

    Caterina | caterinasosso.com

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  29. Oh this is a very useful and informative post. I need calm down so many times!
    Thanks for this post
    xx

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  30. I haven't heard of this before - very interesting!
    Pretty photos too lady :)

    Lyndi
    www.stylecalling.com

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  31. Oh my gosh, how cute are you? I love how you paired your french t-shirt with the beret, tres chic!!

    xox Kirsten // http://kirstenwendlandt.com/burts-bees-beauty/

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  32. Such a lovely look! I am digging those boots! x

    Daniel x

    The Daniel Originals | Instagram: danielpoonvignez

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  33. Love these tips you shared! So important to remind ourselves sometimes that negative patterns in our lives can be changed. Love the idea of thinking positive about the future and also living in the present moment. Love your outfit too, so Parisian chic babe! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  34. Wow the first one really hit because I always do that. I use so much time thinking about things that really doesn't matter and it is exhausting. Thank you for the tips. You look amazing as always!

    xx Freja
    http://whatmakesmesmileblog.com/

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  35. This is a wonderful post Gabrielle and thank you ever so much for sharing it, I was feeling rather over-whelmed today and I decided to jump onto your blog to cheer me up, and stumbled across this lovely post, what are the chances eh? ;)

    I have heard of CBT and my GP said it's useful, so worthwhile asking more about it for sure!

    Looking after your mental health as well as physical is truly important that's for sure.

    Thanks so much for sharing this, I really needed this today more than you know.

    Sending love and a thank you. You look beautiful as always Gabs!

    Love Laura x x x
    www.shehearts.net

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  36. Wow!! You look perfect dear <33

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  37. I've never heard of CBT, really I was pretty skeptical about all the mindfulness question in general, but your post really made me think...
    I've never heard a real witness from someone I "know" so this convinced me that maybe there is something true in this all.
    Definitely mental health is very important and this could very helpful for many people: all your tips are smart and useful and really make sense (especially the first)!
    Thanx for sharing, doll, it was very interesting and informative!
    XO
    S
    https://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it/

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  38. These are all really great tips! I'll have to look into CBT further :) I've been trying to make sure that I get enough sleep, eat as well as I can and go to the gym and I've found it so helpful :) xx

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  39. I've never tried CBT although I do think it would help me quite a lot! These are really helpful tips for starting to take some small steps in that direction though :)
    Amy xx
    callmeamy.co.uk

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  40. Me encantando el post!, Saludos.

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  41. I overthink way too much. Its something I work on often

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  42. Yes! One of the biggest benefits of yoga for me was the fact that it helped me slow down and become WAY more mindful of what I was feeling and WHY. It also helped me be more reflective of all the things I'm thankful for, which helps the anxiety and stress factors so much. I have really put into practice to stop trying to predict the future, and being more present. It's crazy how much of a difference it makes!

    Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com

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  43. I guess you feel really refreshed yea.. For now am working on diet and exercise.

    Glowyshoes's blog

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  44. I don't think that I have ever heard of the term cognitive behavioral therapy. Definitely sounds like someone everyone finds useful and I will look into it more :)

    Sarah | What Sarah Writes

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  45. Thanks so much for sharing more about cbt, I had heard of it before but didn't truly know what it was about, it sounds so helpful!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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  46. These are such great tips Gabrielle, they're honestly so helpful xx

    tipscapsule.blogspot.com

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  47. I've actually never heard of CBT - thanks for sharing, girl!

    -Emily | www.East91Blog.com

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  48. CBT is great, I have attended CBT theraphy and it does work! Great post!
    Magda

    https://www.gloryofthesnow.com/

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  49. I love the idea of letting something go if it's a problem you can't solve- so freeing! I need to get better at this.

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  50. I’ve never felt the need to delve into CBT personally, but I think it’s great that you wrote a post about how it’s been helping you in a way that makes it sound so completely normal. I don’t think what you’ve been learning is anything totally out there, in fact it sounds like it’d be useful for just about everyone who ever finds themselves stuck on certain thoughts or finds themselves reacting to situations in ways they don’t understand. I think “therapy” can be a scary or dirty word for some people, because maybe it makes them think there’s something wrong that they need to fix, but really, like you said, CBT can definitely parallel with mindfulness and chances are following the tips you listed is only going to improve your life and your relationship with your own emotions, which is only going to be a good thing!

    littlehenrylee.net

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  51. Yes I am aware of CBT. I first learned about it when I went to therapy regarding my son's death. Some of the tips were useful and have helped over the years.
    LaToya
    www.toyastales.blogspot.com

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  52. This is such a great post! I love all these steps especially the one about overthinking. That is something that I do way too often. Though I definitely have found that meditation and practicing mindfulness has helped. Thanks for sharing!

    http://roadesque.com

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  53. I went through CBT before when I was struggling badly with social anxiety and panic attacks. It did help me in some ways, but not in others. It can be a great tool, but a lot more difficult if your issues are extremely deep xx.

    Raindrops of Sapphire

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  54. This is such a nice read dear. I definitely need to practice this. Learned a lot from your post, and yes, staying in the present is super important to live a happy life. Thanks for sharing!

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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