UK Fashion and Lifestyle Blog.

Monday, 11 June 2018

''Don't Mistake My Kindness For Weakness''

Warehouse Blue Button Through Linen Midi Dress
Have you ever come across that quote before?  It's one of my all-time favourites, particularly because it was one of the last little nuggets of wisdom my grandad had shared before he passed away.  I often catch myself mulling it over, each time nodding more enthusiastically until I've managed to psych myself up to preach it here, there and everywhere.  Come to think of it, that's probably how I've wound up writing about it here on A Glass Of Ice.  Anyway, following on from our last discussion on how being gentle could be your strength (thanks so much for the incredible feedback, by the way; overwhelmingly happy to know so many of you agree!), I'm now wondering just how many people accidentally confuse kindness with weakness.  Eek!
Beautiful Countryside English Manor Windows
Styling Oversized Hat for Summer British Style
Fashion Blogger Gold Accessory Details
Personally, I feel as though there could be such a thing as being too kind.  Needless to say, I'm sure at some point or another we've all had to learn that lesson the hard way, right?  When being kind starts to be to your own detriment, it's time to start rethinking things. Especially if your actions are going unappreciated, or somehow manage to interfere with another's ability to move forwards.  For example, you could constantly take over a task for someone in a bid to be helpful and kind, only to rob them of the chance to learn for themselves.  The end result?  You've made life harder for them.  You know what, that sounded far harsher than I'd intended... but hopefully you catch where I'm going with this!

But anyway, being kind isn't the issue here.  It's having that kindness mistaken for weakness.  Having a lot of love to give and wanting to help/look out for others in no way makes you weak.  Sure, I'm not speaking as a psychologist, I'm talking as a giant-hat-wearing blogger. But believe me when I say that when a person mistakes your kindness for weakness, it says far more about them than it does you.  To them you may be weak, but to me you're compassionate.  
British Blogger Style Midi Linen Dress for Summer
Perfect Luxurious English Manor Garden
Styling Wide Brim Blue Hat for Summer
Blogger English Summer Garden Fashion Collage


Dress - Warehouse (also available in white, khaki and yellow)

Bag - Ralph Lauren

Bangle - Halcyon Days (similar here)

Shoes - Carvela Kurt Geiger

Don't Mistake My Kindness For Weakness Blog Discussion
Polesden Lacy Back of House in Summer
Don't Mistake My Kindness For Weakness Blog Quote Discussion
As always, I'm hugely looking forward to you throwing your thoughts into the mix.  Where do you stand on the topic - is there such a thing as being too kind?  Have you ever had your kindness mistaken for weakness?  Let me know in the comments below!

Liked this post?  You might also enjoy >> Being Gentle Is Your Strength, Babygirl!

With love,

Gabrielle x

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41 comments

  1. What a powerful quote! I've actually never heard this before but it instantly caught my eye when I saw it as your title. You've got me thinking a bit. We live in such a competitive world these days and often I find that people seem to think there's a reason someone is laughing or being kind besides that they're having fun or trying to be a nice person. In order to get along with more people or make more acquaintances or even come off as nicer, people will often act kind when they don't really mean how they act. In my opinion this is the sign of weakness. It starts when the person can't find it in themselves to be themselves, who they truly are.
    Also, what a fabulous dress! You wear it so well and you have terrific modeling skills. :D

    www.beingisabella.com

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  2. You always have such interesting reads and it's so sweet how your grandpa got to impart this little quote with you. I used to get angry when people mistook kindness for weakness but now I just don't really care. Like you said, it says a lot more about them then the person being kind and I would much rather be a kind person than someone who gets angry about it, or worse, someone who takes advantage of kind people. I do agree though, that there's times when you have to hold back in situations where people keep taking advantage of you or where you may even be making life harder for someone else (like you mentioned) but for the most part, I think every one could stand to be a little kinder. I wish more people could read this, Gabs. You're always so full of wisdom.

    SHANNON VALLE
    life + style blog

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  3. I'm glad you touched this subject as this is important for young people to know these days. Being kind and gentle is always a positive attribute on a person but somehow shaded because others abuse it and take advantage. But like you said it's in the other person's problem and not those who are showing gentleness and kindness. Love this post dear and I'm wishing you a happy week. Btw, love the wide brim hat.

    www.busyandfab.com

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  4. I have heard this saying before. And have had my kindness thrown in my face as weakness. Sometimes when you are too kind people take advantage of you. And then sometimes they try to walk over you.

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  5. The quote is very lovely and so accurate. I feel like in today's world there are so many factors that try and transform a person to be quite unkind and cold. I always like to say it's nice to be nice and regardless of what an individual is going through and the challanges they face, it's never an excuse to be unkind or cruel to a person as a way of taking it out on them.

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

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  6. You look great, love this look on you!
    hey... thats why theres a terms "dont judge the book by its cover ;) "
    http://sepatuholig.blogspot.com
    IG @grace_njio

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  7. Well to me kindness and weakness are two very different things ... maybe only people with bad intentions will mix those two! I'm trying to be as kind as possible ... with everybody but when someone is trying to abuse it ... I adapt ;)

    Lovely look by the way and great pictures!

    https://4highheelsfans.wordpress.com/2018/06/08/royal-greenhouses/

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  8. I learned that lesson the hard way too, but I need a week long and 100 pages to tell my story haha!!! Beautiful photos and what a pretty dress you are wearing Gabrielle!! x

    Yiota
    pinkdaisyloves.blogspot.com

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  9. I'm obsessed with this outfit, Gabrielle! And yes, I definitely think there is something about being too kind. I've seen a lot of people get taken advantage of because of it unfortunately :(

    Tina
    www.justatinabit.com

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  10. I really feel that quote. I do think I have a limit with kindness, if only because I appear physically as someone who can be taken advantage of, ie small, quiet, etc. I'm usually kind off the bat, but I have a short fuse and I can grow stern quickly. I definitely don't have a hold on that balance, but I agree that kind people are compassionate and just generally nice.

    Also, this is a LOOK.

    amberelb.com

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  11. I think that depends on the reasons for your kind behavior. If you are kind because you are a kind person, it doesn´t make you weak. If you are kind, or pretend to be kind because you fear that you won´t be loved if you aren´t it is probably not a weakness, but the symptom of a weakness.
    In general though you are usually kind from a position of strength, as you need to have something to give in the first place.

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

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  12. Absolutely love the title of this post, I think there is such a thing as being too kind. I've often been too kind to people who haven't deserved it & it makes a person think they have an advantage over you. I've learnt to only offer my kindness to those that are deserving... on another note Gabrielle you look stunning, I love the cut of the dress and the colour suits you so much <3 You look beautiful!!!

    Serene Xo

    http://www.surrealserene.com

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  13. I do agree with you. There is such a thing as too much kindness. We shouldn't try to mother or spoon feed everyone around us, we should encourage them to grow on their own. It is not good when we make others too dependent on others. It took me a while to realize there is such a thing as too much care...or perhaps better to say poorly directed care. As adults, we should treat other adults as adults and don't make them too dependent on us.

    Being kind is something else and it's something we shouldn't feel bad about. Being kind is all about caring for others and there is nothing wrong with being a caring person. All my life I've had to listen to: Have you really wrote that? Have you really painted that? Have you really made that? All because people believe that if someone has a sweet nature, they must be bad at everything. As if only aggressive people can be smart or successful. Some people go as far as to consider you dull if you are a more reserved type. I had teachers who wouldn't grade my essays because they didn't believe I wrote them. This was for essays we wrote in class and we didn't even know what the subject will be- it's literally impossible to cheat on something like that. Besides, this was back at elementary school. I probably didn't know what cheating was back then, but I remember how shocked I was by the accusation. Today I'm older and wiser and I don't worry about what people say or think that much. As you say, it says more about them then it does about us.

    You look sensational in that dress. I do love the oversize hat as well. I was just going to write about my love for big hats one of these days.

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  14. I couldn't agree more. it is much harder to be kind, takes much more strength and will power. It's the mean people who are actually the weak ones.. trying to hide behind their own insecurities.

    http://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com

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  15. Oh yes I agree with this! And I could also add that people think that you're weak when your quiet, which is also such a weird thing to reach for? It has nothing to do with that! Sometimes you got nothing to say and that's about it. So true that it says more about the people thinking that way than what it says about the actual person! Xx

    www.thefashionfolks.com

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  16. I love your dress so much! You are amazing and the location looks so magigal! <3 Beautiful photos as always! :)

    MERI WILD BLOG

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  17. I completely agree with this quote and it's so fitting! It's something that a lot of people do - instantly assuming that because someone is kind, they are weak however it couldn't be further from the truth. The kindest people are normally the toughest but also the nicest!

    Love this and thank you for sharing - it's always nice to read quotes like this especially when they connect to you in some way!

    Looking gorgeous too - you know I absolutely love your photos!

    Layla x

    http://www.sprinklesofstyle.co.uk

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  18. Ohhhhh yes, I've definitely run into this throughout my life! For some people, I think they see kindness as an opportunity to take advantage of someone. Which is so sad because I also think this makes people weary of being kind. BUT, in my opinion, I'd still rather be kind all day every day than not. I constantly remind myself that we never know what someone else is going through, and just a simple smile and being polite can make a huge difference. And let's be honest, our world could use a little extra dose of kindness nowadays!

    Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com

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  19. When I was in high school my classmates had misunderstood my character, just because I was very kind and I helped them to study. So when they really realized that I was not as weak as they thought, but strong and tenacious, they began to look at me in a new light.
    However, the dress is a fairy tale!
    xoxo
    www.milleunrossetto.blogspot.it

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  20. Very smart post,great photos,you are stunning <3

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  21. Yes, you're so correct! Particularly working in a tech envionment with mainly men I've noticed how everyone always wants to flex their muscles(metaphorically speaking) !

    But all the more important to retain your kind nature ! Lovely photos as always ! And love that you have a few smiling happy shots here too :)

    www.talesoftwoblog.blogspot.com

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  22. Kindness to me equals to empathy and it's a strength in my eyes. Yes, there are some who love walking all over a kind hearted person because they see it as a weakness, I do think they'll be in for a surprise though. ;-)

    Shireen⎜Reflection of Sanity

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  23. Kindness is so important. I think killing them with kindness is important but not letting people walk over you. I love your outfit too! Totally off topic but have you ever done a post on how you take your photos?

    x,
    Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel

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    Replies
    1. Hi gorgeous! Thanks for your lovely comment. I've never done a post before on how I take my photos, but thanks for the inspiration - I may create one in the future! :)

      Gabrielle x

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  24. First, I love your hat, such the perfect accessory with your pretty navy dress for a sunny day!

    Secondly, I really like that quote. I learnt pretty quickly that people see kindness as a weakness and I'm much more reserved with how I present myself and how I undertake tasks at work. But I think kindness is so important, it's a form of compassion and when people aren't kind it's a huge red flag for me. I hope to raise two kind little boys!

    Hope that you are having a lovely week so far :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  25. Kindness is defintely not a weakness, I believe in being kind. My nan always said to, "do things in love and kindness, but never be foolish. I think it can be applied literally as well as figuratively, although she meant to not let people walk all over you. Kindness like a smile given: it's free, takes little effort yet can be incredibly powerful. That hat is gorgeous ... Well done on the choosing. x/Madison

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  26. I love the new editing on the images Gab! On the subject, for me showing kindness is sense of maturity, if others don't understand it, I then get sarcastic and if they don't understand it either, then the conversation is closed. I get bored.
    Have a nice week!

    xx from italy
    Cate ღ 35mm in Style

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  27. Loving this dress! And this hat is everything
    xx
    Mademoiselle Coconath
    http://mllecoconath.com

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  28. Oh I resonate with this all too much. My kindness has always been taken for granted / weakness. Whats more mad is that I can't help myself from being sometimes overly kind. And then watch as those people take the mick out of my kindness. This is usually in a work setting BUT believe me is often transfers to Social Media.

    Lovely post, the dress and hat are to die for : ) xo

    www.juanitalikes.com

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  29. What an interesting and certainly a very important quote to remember, thank you so much for sharing it! Beautiful pictures too, I love your hat!!
    Have a great day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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  30. I completely agree with this quote Gab ! Love the dress you are wearing, you look great!

    Nina
    xox
    www.thecrispylipstick.com

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  31. Kindness should never be considered a weakness, it is simply being a nice person. But this is a really good quote, and should be remembered. I also love your dress girl!
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

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  32. Absolutely gorgeous as always, Gabrielle. Your chic summer style always get me. As for today's topic, oh dear, been there! I'm often described as "too sweet" and kind, which is really nice but sometimes it's not being said with a good connotation. I feel like it's completely okay being as kind as you want, as long as you don't forget that you're always your first priority <3
    xx

    www.stylebydeb.com

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  33. I like to think of kindness as a strength but it's true that it can be mistaken for weakness and that can indeed be a detriment. I generally try to be kind but when it comes to certain people, it's better to treat them as well as they treat me. Your outfit is summer perfection btw Gabrielle!

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  34. I totally agree with you my dear! love this post :)

    Check out my latest blog post to discover how to get healthy hair
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    xx, Eva

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  35. I have seen this quote before and I also think it's very true! To me, this quote reminds us that although we want to be kind to other, we also have to be kind to ourselves - and not let some people with bad intentions take advantage of the kindness we show them. Not that we should be horrible with him or be wary of everybody, but we always have to remember why we do things, why we are kind and to what purpose. But also, we have to make sure we are kind with ourselves in our help of others, because our well-being is so important and should come first!
    Also, your dress is gorgeous! With the sun hat, this is the perfect summer outfit Gabrielle!

    Julia x
    Last Post: The Makeup Products That Never Fail Me | http://juliaspeaksbeauty.blogspot.com/2018/06/beauty-makeup-products-that-never-fail.html

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  36. I think it's a bit like 'always be the one who smiled rather than the one who didn't smile back.' No-one should dim your light or take your kindness for granted. If they do, they need to get the hell outta my life that's for sure. Love your outfit in this post Gabrielle.
    Jaz
    x
    https://www.thelifeofasocialbutterfly.co.uk

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  37. Love that photo of you smiling :D And i hate when people mistaken kindness as a weakness. If anything, it's harder to be the bigger person!

    Simply Lovebirds

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  38. No, I don' think there is such a thing as being too kind, the world needs more kindness. But there is a difference between kindness and being taken advantage of, which I am sure this is what your grandfather was referring to. Just believe in yourself don't let others take advantage. And on a lighter note you look great in navy!

    Allie of
    www.allienyc.com

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  39. This is an excellent topic Gabrielle!! I think that maybe some people mistake kindness for weakness because society in some way dictates that we have to look strong and have that attitude of "I can do everything on my own and I don't care about the rest" but that is not a good approach.
    I think it's very important to change that perspective of kindness being a weakness and also to find a good balance between being kind and helping others but also being kind with ourselves, so that our actions are not in our own detriment.

    Andrea.

    Seize your Style

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  40. I loved your dress but to be honest that hat is prettier.

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